Those Fascinating Things

Sarge and I sent a few overseas and faraway invitations on Saturday.  We went across the street to the post office, with me actually praying that I wouldn’t drop them.

We arrived safely at the post office and with each PAR AVION stamp applied; I dug my nails deeper into his shirt.  This was not a metaphor for anything.  Or a comment on the fact that we are suddenly more engaged now than before.  I was just counting.  Really hard.

However, when we dropped the stamped addressed envelopes into the somehow really bright red post box, I said, ‘It’s official now, unless you want to tip the box.’

‘No tipping.’

‘But I did fall out of the chair that one time.’

‘No more tipping.’

When we got the samples, I was excited to read the details of strangers’ weddings.  It’s even more mind-blowing to see our own names on there.  Weird to think of those cards on their way to other people’s hands and hearts and houses.

I lay awake at 5.38 yesterday morning, wondering what people would think of the ‘no hat’ rule.

In the middle of the invite, in not-so small print it reads: Dress:  Scottish traditional (no hats).  I don’t like hats.  Because I have a big American head.

When I brought up this point with my mother, she said, ‘What does that mean?’

‘If at all possible, men in kilts and no hats on anyone.’

‘But you can’t tell people what to wear.’

‘Other couples specify Black Tie.  And I don’t like hats.  Same thing.’

‘If you don’t like hats, then don’t wear one.  It is not the same thing.  And I want to wear one of those fascinating things.  Like Fergie’s girls.’

‘You mean a fascinator?  Please don’t.’

‘Whatever.  One with feathers on it.’

‘That would be fascinating.  Just don’t wear it at my wedding.’

‘I just might.’

‘Look, even my future mother-in-law doesn’t like hats.  She appreciates the rule, Mom.’

‘Oh, really?  That’s useful for you.  Go with it.’

Having said all that, this post on big hats almost makes me want to change my mind.  Almost.  But not quite.  And anyway, the invitations are printed already.  It’s official now.  No tipping.

What are your opinions on big hats and preferred wedding dress-codes?

Image via Wikipedia
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17 thoughts on “Those Fascinating Things

  1. Ohh how exciting! Hmm tricky one, at the end of the day, it’s your wedding it’s up you, you can do whatever you like!

    Personally I don’t think I’ll put any dress codes, because I don’t really care! Haha. So long as people are comfortable and having fun they can wear whatever they like! Only 10 months to go! 😀 x x

    1. Anyone says ‘bucket’ and I immediately think of the kid from Parenthood who put one over his head and knocked it against the wall.

      Is it weird that I make that connection?

  2. It is well within reason and good taste to avoid even the appearance of attempting to upstage the bride on her wedding day. It seems to me that hats, fascinators included, have become one way women are getting around that very basic tenet of wedding etiquette. In the attempt to out-fashion statement one another, they’re breaking Wedding Rule #1. You shouldn’t have to ask, but the current fashion trend makes it necessary. Here’s wishing you a hat-free and beautiful day!

  3. I’m so so so torn about hats. I LOVE the look of big hats, but I, like you, also have a giant head.
    I wore a cowboy hat twice – once at RibFest this summer and once when I worked at Cowboys in Calgary, Alberta as a beer tub girl. But that’s my entire hat history.
    Wedding dress codes are completely appropriate. I SUPPORT YOUR CHOICES!

  4. Well, you could have insisted on something like 1450’s period Scottish clothing styles. Or even 1001 Arabian Nights theme clothing. You didn’t. You just said, ‘no hats’. All told, they got off easy with that. It is your wedding. It should be what you want it to be.

  5. I think that if others can hold costume weddings (a cousin recently had a country-western style wedding), then you can “demand” no hats. I hope your wedding day does you justice 🙂

  6. My husband was a groomsman in a wedding with ten bridesmaids in red and the five groomsmen in cowboy hats. Kept me smiling.

    About being female and a big head, here’s some good news. People with big heads rarely get Alzheimers. How do I know my head is big? When we were measured for our caps, the young jerk doing the work said, you’ve got the second biggest head in your senior class of 450. Thanks.

    Enjoy your wedding, let your groomsmen take care of the guests while you wait in the back. I enjoyed your post.

  7. Your wedding – but then again, the “no hats” is really a request and therefore can be ignored if one is really insistent about it, right? I personally am not a hat person, and I would so much rather be told not to wear one than to be told I had to wear one.

  8. Even though I am an American who loves hats, I have to go with the “its your day so whatever you want goes” argument. Love your conversation recaps here, especially the threat of “I just might wear one…” – looking forward to hearing more!

  9. Fascinators are fascinating! I do wonder if people get hurt by them 🙂

    And a no hats rule is the same as asking people to not wear black or something (the Chinese do that – black is for funerals for them). So I don’t see anything wrong with that – it’s YOUR big day after all.

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