I was at the mall for five hours yesterday. No, I don’t have a job there. And I came home without a book. Since my mall trips usually revolve around Starbucks fixes and buying books in bulk, my extended stay is worthy of note.
Sarge and I have had rival mobile phones since I got an iPhone two years ago. Didn’t want it at first, but because I hadn’t upgraded for years, I got one ‘for free’. The dudes in the shop practically threw it at me.
They threw me another one yesterday. Only this time I asked for it. I now have an iPhone 4. My Siri is a dude. This confuses me, because Siri is a girl’s name. But whatever. It’s just a phone, people. A very cool phone, but still just a phone.
I signed my name to lots of bits of paper yesterday. Then I left both phones in the shop so my contacts and photos could be transferred to the new phone. That would take an hour.
So I went shopping. I might have bought what my mother would call a ‘cute top’ for the engagement bonfire this weekend. I may have discovered I am a whole two sizes smaller than I was at Christmas, the last time I bought clothes. I may have sat, phoneless and bookless in Starbucks. With a tall hazelnut latte and a skinny (yes, really) blueberry muffin. I haven’t been trying to lose weight, but it may as well stay gone.
I went back to the phone shop. ‘Another hour,’ they said. ‘Lots of photos, over a thousand,’ they said.
893, I thought. Because my phone is with me when my digital camera is not. And my phone takes better photos.
And so, I went off in search of yesterday evening’s dinner. And there was nothing skinny about the chocolate mousse I picked up for dessert.
I circled back to the phone shop. ‘Three minutes,’ they said.
And then my phone rang. The new one. It was Dad. The conversation went something like this:
‘Did you get my message?’
‘Have you read your email?’
‘Oh. Carry on, my dear. Have Siri call me later.’
I signed some more bits of paper and took both phones home.
This is what happened when I tried to ‘train’ the new one:
Um, no. Please don’t.
What would you like to text (Sarge)?
I’m texting using my voice!
Text Izuzu my voice?
Well, maybe. I have always wanted to do voice-overs!
Check the weather in Edinburgh.
Check in with Bro?
I wish, Siri. Thank you.
What time is it in New York?
The time in NYC, USA is 11.41 AM
I can’t do that for you. Sorry to disappoint you.
That’s OK, Siri. You’re just a phone. And I should probably have grapes instead.