Today is World Penguin Day.
Sarge loves penguins. If he had a spirit animal, a brother or a higher power, they would all be penguins. They are all penguins.
I have only just recently established that he loves me more than penguins. Here are some reasons why that may be the greatest compliment I could ever receive.
15. When we first started dating, he gave me Death and the Penguin. He called it Required Reading, and said if I didn’t like it; our relationship wouldn’t get very far. I gave the book 5 stars.
14. Our travel mascot is called George Bailey-Penguin. Sarge gave him to me for our first Christmas together, to ‘up your penguin/human ratio.’
13. Our favourite ‘Christmas Elf’ is called MC Penguin, he raps.
12. For Sarge’s birthday, I adopted a penguin from Edinburgh Zoo. It was like Christmas in March.
11. For another birthday, I got him a bottle of BrewDog’s Tactical Nuclear Penguin. We haven’t opened it yet.
10. I proposed with pebbles.
9. We made a special trip to the zoo to notify the penguins of our engagement. They approved.
8. He thinks our wedding registry should be at Penguin Corner.
7. He’s asked if we could rent a penguin to be in the wedding. But not really, because people who kidnap penguins make him sad. He does want our 3-foot plastic penguin called Jemima to be involved somehow, though.
6. Our cake-topper will be a butterfly and a penguin and both will most likely make an appearance on the invitations.
5. He loves penguin books and Penguin Books. Because they’re all penguins.
4. We have a print of 6 penguins lined up on our living room wall. We call them our parents surrogate grandchildren.
3. When we do have kids, his favourite name for a girl is Penelope Gwyneth. PenGwyn for short.
2. Sarge finds peace by looking at Edinburgh Zoo’s Penguin Cam. He is very sad that some of the penguins have been shipped off and that the parade has been cancelled. But we’ll both be excited when everyone is back in their new digs and everything is back to normal.
1. Sarge aspires to be Scotland’s answer to Belgium’s Mr Penguin.
How are you honouring your favourite penguin today?