Yes, I’m The Bride. Who Are You?

I have a confession to make.  I have not been planning/dreaming of my wedding since I was six years old.  There are no scrapbooks, files, dog-eared wedding magazines from the ‘80’s.  The first and only time I made any kind of short-lived scrapbook, I glued my fingers together.  True story.

Two and a half years ago, I began to picture myself married.  To Sarge.   Being married, that is.  Not the wedding.

And so, when we began to discuss what the actual wedding might look like, I had only a few ideas:

I’d like to get married outside

To Sarge

He’d be in a skirt kilt

And my dress and I would sit comfortably in my chair, at the same time.

With more butterflies than flowers around

This is the list we took venue-shopping a few weeks ago.

Now.  I’d heard that people selling their services don’t like to talk to the groom and direct everything to the bride.  We went to three places.   Two people directed their questions to both of us.  Super cool.  One person spoke only to Sarge.  Not cool.  He was a bit confused when we both answered back.  Which was cool.

The thing is this.  Sarge isn’t marrying himself.  I would be totally supportive if he wanted to, but he doesn’t.  He wants to marry me.  So, yes, Mr Co-ordinator who doesn’t like his job, that makes me the bride.  Disabled people get married, too.  I read it online somewhere.

For me, this means that if we were to get married outside, I’d need a flat aisle.  No carpets over grass.  We’d even make a platform.  But we’d have to be allowed to use it.  Not being allowed to use it would be a little thing called a deal-breaker.  That means we’re going to take our money and our wedding somewhere else.

We have provisionally booked an indoor venue more beautiful than any picture I could have pasted in a scrapbook, if I had one.  Which I don’t.

I do, however, have  some Pinterest boards, which are less messy.  Maybe.

This was taken a year ago. At a wedding. Do we look like we're practicing?
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28 thoughts on “Yes, I’m The Bride. Who Are You?

  1. For some reason, you being in a chair and visiting wedding coordinators sounds something like me walking into an edged weapon shop with the handicap of being female. I get completely ignored and usually can’t buy what I want until I come back with a male friend just to get the staff to even acknowledge my existence. Some people are just idiots and shouldn’t have jobs working with the public.

    I hope everything works out wonderfully for you two. The picture looks great.

  2. The bit about “disabled people get married too” made me chuckle.

    Try being asked how blind people have sex. Oh the ignorance of the so-called able bodied ones.

  3. The other day when my divorce was finalized, the judge looked only at X when she made her pronouncement & expressed good wishes. NOT COOL. Fortunately, I will never be in the market for a divorce judge again!

    I am VERY happy about your marriage plans, though, & I’m glad you’re steering away from venues whose reps don’t look at you. You’re going to have a beautiful wedding–& an especially beautiful marriage.

  4. I’m sure you’ll have a beautiful wedding. I hope you don’t have to deal with too many idiots to get there. It’s a shame people don’t come with warning labels. I’ve always thought that narrow mindedness requires a particularly obvious one.:)

  5. I’m really enjoying your blog. My dad’s blind and South Africa is notoriously bad at being accessible for any kind of disability. Add that to the fact that he doesn’t use a guide dog. Anyways.
    I find that even my med school classmates (who should be used to anything by now), avert their eyes when talking to people who use for example a wheelchair. Seems that you handle it pretty darn well though, kudos to you.
    Cutest picture also, by the way 🙂

  6. Hi! You don’t know me. But I meandered here via your BADD2012 post and thought I’d say:
    1. I know what you mean.
    and
    2. I had an awesome wedding.
    One thing that might help – I got my wedding dress (there’s a pic on the second post there) from a shop that actually specialised in prom dresses, which meant it was cheaper, it didn’t have a train to deal with, and the floofiness of the skirt was at a much more manageable level. The dresses in wedding-dress-shops were like having a tent put up around me!

    1. Hi Mary,

      So glad to connect! I can’t say much about it here, but I have found a dress! Now I’m off to read your blog. Nice to meet you!

      Lorna

  7. I can totally relate to not thinking/planning/dreaming of your wedding since you were six years old. I was married 6 months ago and I think it made it all the more fun planning with my husband not having all these ideas in my mind.

    Congratulations!!!!

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