I was breaking out in hives. Shaking. Clawing at my skin.
‘What the hell is this?’ I said to Sarge. ‘Red splotches. On my neck. Should I do this? I think I’m gonna be sick. Hold my hand.’ And then I grabbed his hand. Maybe broke his fingers. A little.
No, I was not peeing on a stick. I was not choosing table linens for the wedding dinner (which is actually the wedding breakfast, but never mind). None of those things.
I bought a Kindle. It comes with an existential crisis.
‘Do you think I should finish all the books I have before I buy one?’
‘Then you’ll never do it.’
‘Is that my answer? Do I even need one?’
‘Do you want one?’
Now. I have been openly hostile to e-readers. They are not books. They don’t smell like paper and ink. Real readers read books. So there.
A girl can change her mind. I’ve caught up with the times for a few reasons:
1. Sarge likes to sleep. I do not. He can’t sleep with the light on, I can’t read without it. And when I read in bed, I sometimes drop the book on Sarge’s face. By accident, of course. Mostly. The last time it happened, he got a paper-cut. On his eye. I laughed. And then I felt bad.
He might have started to wear an eye-mask in bed. To block out my reading light and to shield his face from low-flying books. The mask is a kind of compromise. He used to fall asleep with a pillow over his face. Freaked me out a little.
‘Can you breathe? Are you breathing?’
‘Are you sleeping?’
‘Not right now.’
b. The last time we went away, we really did take a book suitcase. On the last day, Sarge looked like this:
He wants to travel lighter. I do, too. Especially on the honeymoon.
iii. My personal Amazon boy-cot didn’t last very long. Obviously. I worked for them for about 5 minutes/exactly a month. Or at least I worked for people who employed people to work there. And then I quit. It was all very Norma Rae. Not really. After I left, I wanted to see how long I could last without using them.
I will say that the end of my drought wasn’t my fault. I like it when my book-group books can be locally-sourced. Or something. If not locally, then at least from GreenMetropolis. I found our most recent book-group selection there, and then my order was cancelled by the seller. And it wasn’t available at the library. And so, I ordered it on Amazon. Without looking at the Kindles.
But, I was (trying to) read in bed last week, and I might have given Sarge another paper-cut. Soon after, I broke out in those hives.
‘The built-in light will save your eyesight,’ said Sarge.
‘And yours,’ I said.
The things we do for love.
Are you an e-reader convert? Do you still read real books? Am I evil? (Feel free to not answer that last question!)