Let’s say there’s a power-cut. In the middle of the day. This day is particularly overcast and spooky, with little or no natural light. You know, like April. You are either home from work or you don’t have a job outside of that home. The point is, apparently, you don’t have any juice inside it, either.
Here’s what you might do:
1. Consider, for a moment, that you’ve finally done it. With the computer on, the music on and for some reason all the damn lights on, you have blown all the fuses. In the world. Ever. This power outage is your fault. You were listening to Sun Volt, and now there are no volts. Neeener, neener. Screw you, you big hippie.
2. Wonder if the apocalypse/the extra weird part of The Passage has come true.
3. Compose yourself. Text your boyfriend/girlfriend/anyone who does not jump to stupid conclusions. They might be at work. Just sayin’.
‘Are you out, too?’
Oh, good. Kinda. At least the whole building, the whole street, the whole town will not blame you. This also means the bill is paid and the apocalypse has not arrived. Good deals.
4. Now that you know it isn’t your fault, you are bored. You amuse yourself by getting dressed. In the dark. Before NO JUICE you may have been hanging out in your robe. Because you can.
5. You may quote that line from Al Pacino. All over the house. And you may laugh. Because it makes sense. And you are stupid.
6. You may read. In the dark. Because you can. The Kindle isn’t so bad, after all.
7. You may feel vindicated. 7b. But still a little dirty.
8. You might worry that the food in your fridge is sweating. Your freezer is defrosting.
9. You eat. Some grapes. A sandwich without the bread. You contemplate the dubious yogurt. You don’t think so.
10. You remember that old episode of Rosanne where their power goes out. No, not that one. The tornado one. You think of helmets. And ghost stories. You might write a ghost story when the power comes back on.
Which it does. Eventually.
This whole list may have played out in the space of twenty minutes. In my house. Which now has power. Of course.