That Time It Wasn’t The Flu

It was the second day of NaNoWriMo, and I had the flu. I was also late, but every other month that doesn’t seem to matter much. One of my ovaries is shy. Or lazy.

Anyway. I watched the flu episode of The Golden Girls and then sat down to write. And sneeze. Neil was at the gym and I was doing laps to the toilet to pee, between sneezes.

I didn’t write much that day. But I counted. Six times.

I was wearing three layers. And I still had goosebumps.

When Neil got home, I was on the couch breathing from the one nostril I had left.

He raised one of his really perfect eyebrows.

‘Whut?’

‘Have you got your period yet?’ There are no secrets in our relationship.

‘Doe.’

The other eyebrow went up.

‘I’m dot.’

We’d had the same conversation for the past few months.

Later, Neil left to go see some friends, and I hadn’t left the couch. Except to pee. On the way back from trip 11, I counted again. On my calendar. Both of my eyebrows went up.

The next morning, I was as late as late ever was. And awake in the dark. So was Neil.

‘Should I pee on a stick?’

‘I think so.’

There was a test burning a hole in my wicker drawers.

‘What if I’m not?’

‘What if you are?’

‘Let’s do this.’ I hurled myself into the chair, sat down on another seat. I might have peed into a cup I pilfered from Broadway, right after Neil said, ‘Fire when ready.’

‘Really?’

‘Kinda makes sense.’

I did the deed, and then made Neil take the cup out of the room. I didnotwanttoseeit.

And so. He paced. I sat. Goosebumps.

I saw Neil’s feet first. Usually, I don’t like his feet, but that day we were OK.

I looked at his feet, because I could not look at his face. Until I did. It looked different from the other times.

‘Do you want to see it?’

‘I don’t know. Do I?’

He flashed it. And my eyes went from the plus sign to his face and back. In slow motion.

‘Oh, God. No.’

And my husband said, ‘Yes.’

‘NONONO.’

And I’m holding onto Neil, because y’know, I want to. And because I might have fallen off the toilet.

Neil cried before I did.

‘Let me see it again,’ I said.  A blur of blue.

‘Is that a yes?’ I asked.

‘An emphatic yes.’

And then I cried.

And we went back to bed. Where I threw up. ‘Not the flu,’ I said.

We’re holding on. ‘What do we do now?’ Neil asked.

‘Go to Disney World?!’

‘What?’

‘Never mind,’ I said.

We’re holding on.

‘Well, that went well,’ we said.

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47 responses to “That Time It Wasn’t The Flu

  1. With every new baby comes a new blessing!

  2. Wonderful news!

  3. Oh. This is so awesome! Congratulations! Thanks for taking us along for the ride!

  4. Oh yes…the endless peeing. Don’t worry it’ll go away soon if it hasn’t already…and then it comes back in full force. Yesterday evening I peed about every 45 minutes.

    • I’m 18 weeks today, the peeing has been replaced by heartburn. Gaviscon is amazing! How are you? You’re almost due, right? Lots of love and good thoughts from over here!

      • Ah yes, the heartburn moved me to the couch many nights, so I could try to sleep sitting up. Esme Kitty was not pleased with me invading her night-time turf. The only thing that helped me was eating dinner super early.

  5. Congrats!!! It’s a pretty exciting time. I’m 22 and a half weeks right now, so not much farther ahead of you!

  6. Congrats! How exciting! Those first few months are tough, but it gets better. What a great story.

  7. Congratulations! How exciting! And love the story!

  8. Congrats!!! When I found out I was pregnant, it made me feel sick and confused. Thanks for sharing your story.

  9. Congratulations! Boy, what a great story! Linked here from the SITS Girls Comment Love event. Thanks for sharing this life-changing moment. :-)

  10. Although the flu lasts a lot less time, it’s also not nearly as rewarding. Congratulations!

  11. Congratulations! Great story :)

  12. Stopping by from SITS Girls Comment Love… Congrats! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

  13. Congratulations!! I love reading your story :)

  14. Also stopping by from the SITS Comment Challenge. Mucho congrats! This was a very happy and awesome post to read. Loved it! :D

  15. I couldn’t have had my husband there with me when I peed on a stick because I didn’t trust myself to catch him if he fainted.

  16. Great writing on this! I loved it! Congratulations.

  17. Congratulations! Thanks for sharing your special moment with us and hoping you won’t have to many morning sickness. Hello from the SITS Girls Comment Love event. :-)

  18. Melissa - aprudentlife.com

    Great story & congratulations! Hope you are feeling better soon.

  19. Congratulations! When I tested for my one and only (right now), I got a positive, but didn’t want to believe without confirmation. So, my bf and I drove to the CVS and bought a different test. We’d been trying and I was so afraid to celebrate. By the way, my first symptom was a stuffy nose. It was stuffy all through the pregnancy. People thought I was overreacting when I got a stuffy nose and thought I was pregnant. Well, they were wrong!

  20. haha great story! Congratulations, how exciting!! :)

  21. woo hoo congrats! Amazing news :)

  22. This is a great story! Congratulations! :)

  23. Oh wow, that made for a great story and one heck of a beginning to the adventure ahead. Loved the way you wrote this. Congrats!

  24. This made me grin! Congrats I just had my second baby on January 7th! Such a fun but emotional time in one’s life. Enjoy!

  25. So awesome! Our 4th was a surprise blessing. I gagged while brushing my teeth and my husband (who can sleep through a tornado) heard me form 2 rooms away and said “Oh my God”… and we knew. Stopping by thanks to #SITS, so glad I read this one!

  26. I love the way you told this story! How awesome!! Congrats from your SITS sis =) Marcy

  27. Congratulations! Loved reading about it. I wish you little vomit and no swollen ankles. :)

  28. Congratulations to you! Love your humor in this story! Love reading uplifting stories in the morning! Stopping by from the SITS GIrls Comment Love!

  29. I remember that first moment we discovered our lives were forever going to be changed. Congratulations from a fellow SITS girl and best of luck with your new role as a mommy! :)

  30. Glad it wasn’t a stomach virus or the flu! Congratulations. Stopping by from SITS comment love.

  31. Congratulations to you! Happy days ahead! I’m glad I found your blog! Mez xx (SITS Comment Love.)

  32. flatstoflipflops

    Love your style of writing. Love that I could absolutely 100% identify with the feelings you expressed. And CONGRATS! :)
    SITS LOVE
    Meegan
    http://www.flatstoflipflops.com

  33. I love your writing style. I can’t wait to follow along on your new adventure! Congrats!

  34. Congrats! Disney isn’t that much fun when you can’t ride the rides :)

  35. Who needs Disney now when in a few years you’ll have a little one to take! Congrats

  36. Wishing you all the best!

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